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It didn’t feel like a betrayal of English football, and it definitely wasn’t desperate. There was no sense of history being sold off or an identity crisis. Sure, if you squinted, you could try to find some fake outrage or create a scandal. But honestly, Thomas Tuchel’s debut as England manager was smooth and polished—hitting the sweet spot between ambition and reality.
Tuchel’s appointment is both a smart and exciting choice. He’s the first England manager to win the Champions League! He’s managed at the top level, faced the best, and come out on top. Any doubts about his nationality or connection to English football are off base. His time at Chelsea, where he handled crises and chased trophies like a pro, shows he gets the Premier League’s intensity and quirks.
After years of Gareth Southgate’s calm style and Lee Carsley’s short stint, Tuchel brings a whole new energy. Say goodbye to waistcoats and soft-spoken talks—he’s all about sharp smarts, striking cheekbones, and the restless vibe of a guy always thinking two steps ahead. He looked the part too: fitted black knitwear, a serious intensity, like a submarine captain steering through rough waters.
And he spoke well! He was clear, articulate, and totally aware of the traps waiting for him. He danced around the nationality question, refusing to answer in German and showing off his English skills—better than some columnists questioning him! He even casually mentioned knowing Prince William, visiting Windsor Castle, and joking about Aston Villa. That’s enough England cred for now.
But Tuchel’s words meant more than just small talk. His focus on modernizing the team to match the Premier League’s high-energy, physical style felt like a shift from Southgate’s more cautious approach. If England had embraced the Premier League’s attacking flair in those tough final losses, would things have turned out differently? That’s definitely worth thinking about.
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Then there’s the squad selection—more of an evolution than a revolution. Jordan Henderson’s omission? Finally, a step toward the next generation! The inclusion of Myles Lewis-Skelly? A bold move, and Tuchel backed it up with a fatherly touch: “I get that it feels like we fast-forwarded a career that was already on a fast track. I can assure you that the talks in the last days and weeks had a parental vibe.” It shows he trusts the youth and is willing to take smart risks.
And what about Dan Burn? A popular choice, for sure. It signals independence and a break from the usual picks. But for all the initial excitement, Tuchel knows the England job is a wild ride. It drives people crazy—sometimes the critics first, but always the manager in the end. How will Tuchel’s time unfold? Will he be criticized for his complex tactics, or will the tabloids have a field day with his occasional trips home, painting him as distant? ‘Long Distance Tom,’ ‘Herr Today, Gone Tomorrow,’ ‘Bad to Wurst’—you can already picture the headlines!
Tuchel knows pressure, but international football is a whole different ball game. He’s never managed a national team or dealt with the unique rhythms of international breaks, not to mention the intense scrutiny that comes with being England’s manager. And while he’s won big trophies, there’s always been this vibe that he’s a manager who almost gets there but falls just short.
Can he change that story? Can he turn England into a team that doesn’t just reach finals but actually wins them? The Euros next year might be too soon for a big change, but 2028—on home turf—feels like the real goal.
For now, he’s got a fresh start, the support of a nation hungry for success, and the skills to make England a force to be reckoned with. But this job is a wild ride, a rollercoaster with heartbreak lurking around the corner.
So, welcome aboard, Thomas! Hop on the bus, embrace the chaos, and as we say around here—good luck!
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